Ever stare at your screen, contemplating how many cups of coffee it’ll take to make that “optimized” site load in under three seconds? We’ve all been there, hasn't we? You download a shiny new theme, full of promises about speed and flexibility, only to find it's heavier than a fully-loaded truck stuck in molasses. Your clients are tapping their feet, your boss is giving you 'the look,' and your open-source soul is weeping silently in the corner about all the unnecessary bloat.

Well, ...